Half Headed

Instagram: @drawingis.peace

A page from my Journal

I never really understood why people address their partners as their other halves. During my teen years, I tried decoding what the phrase meant. And after constant speculation, a few episodes of judgments and influences, I made my own glossary. To me, ‘other half’ could only be true for a certain group of people, either they are incomplete by themselves, or they are too dependent on their love interests, or both. And so, I decided to never use the phrase for the one in my life. “We’ll always be two very different individuals, with our own set of lives,” I said to myself.

Once school was over, I went through ups and downs, like the sharp lines of an ECG, and yet stood strong. Every time I was in love, I never felt the need to use the phrase — validating my teenage decision. With time, I almost started looking down at people who did. Cause you know, they were just weak to me.

But the last couple of nights have been a little different. I felt like half of my body was somewhere else, maybe my head, maybe half of my face, maybe my heart, IDK what, but something felt missing. Constantly stuck with him, far away. And then yesterday night, it hit me, this is what they meant by other halves. When you’re so entangled and deep-rooted with each other, almost like there are invisible strings attached, it all makes sense. The other person becomes one of your additional organs, necessary for survival, weird but that’s how it was. That’s how it feels, staying at a distance from one of my organs. Like my body and mind and constantly on a lookout to keep a check on it, whether it’s fed well, taken care of if it’s doing okay, every little detail. It was happening to me.

Disrupting my thought, here comes the storm, and I snap out of my head. I find myself lying on the bed, wide awake, in the same room where I was waiting for him, where I always am. And then I try to sleep, cause, for now, I’m only half-headed.

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